The Writer’s Voice is a multi-blog contest hosted by Brenda Drake, Cupid, Monica B.W., and Krista Van Dolzer. For all the details about this contest, click here. Check out my entry below.
Seventeen-year-old Gypsy Taliya Bogdanov shouldn’t be able to summon the spirits with her tarot cards. It’s all supposed to be a show for the gaujos— the outsiders. But when word gets out about a secret reading Taliya did for a friend—a reading that led to a hidden chest of gold— the superstitious clan decides to look into all of her predictions. Even the ones she’s not so proud of. Like the reading she did for Besnik Corsi, her brother Luca’s playboy best friend (who she’s secretly in love with). According to tradition, Luca should be next in line to lead the clan, but the cards predicted Besnik and then death for both boys.
No longer willing to accept Luca outright, the clan demands a competition for the title. A competition Taliya must judge as the seer of the fortune.
Desperate to outdo each other, the boys push the boundaries of their novice Gypsy magic, and Luca accidentally unlocks a door to Otherworld— a terrible place believed only to exist in Gypsy folklore. A place where souls are split and trapped forever. Now, choosing between her brother and the boy she loves is the least of Taliya’s worries. She must find a way to retrieve Luca’s soul, and protect Besnik’s, before the rest of her foreboding predictions become reality. Unfortunately, for Taliya, changing the future is a whole lot harder than predicting it.
Complete at 112,00 words, DIVINATION is a stand-alone novel with series potential. It will appeal to readers of the Gemma Doyle Trilogy and Scarlet by A.C. Gaughen. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Riches, love, and death. That’s all they cared to hear about. All anyone wanted from my tarot cards and me. No matter where our caravan traveled, the townspeople came in droves, traipsing through the wilderness to our shoddy camps, desperate to have their fortunes told. Like a swarm of angry bees, they’d buzz in and out our vardos, tossing fistfuls of pennies in our hats, hoping to learn the secrets of life, as they called them.
I called them falsehoods. Dirty, little lies. But, perhaps, I was too blunt.
“Tell me, Madam Taliya, why am I not rich?” they would ask me. Or: “How can I make her fall in love with me?” Or: “When and where will I die?”
Riches, love, and death. Always in that order.
But I wasn’t above making a dime, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell them the truth— that the cards were just a guideline, a prediction of events should their course not change. That wasn’t what the customers wanted to hear. Wasn’t what they were paying for. No one wanted to be told they were poor ‘cause they were a worthless drunk. Or that they would never find love ‘cause they had an insufferable personality— one they likely inherited from their equally insufferable mother. That implied a portion of the bad luck was their own doing, their own fault, and worse yet still, that they could change it.
Change. Such a filthy, rotten word. I learned never to mention it ‘cause change sounded hard. Change meant work.
Just wanted to stop by and say wow, great writing. Good story that pulled me in. I love stories about gypsies and there aren't enough on the shelves in my opinion. Good luck!ReplyDelete
Thank you so much Dana! Good luck with your entry! :)Delete
Definitely great writing! And hey, I wouldn't necessarily want to miss out of a chest of gold either! ;) Love the idea of gypsy magic, and I agree with Dana we need more stories like that. Good luck!ReplyDelete
Thanks, Marieke! Yours sounds great as well. Congrats on making it to the next round!Delete
This is really interesting, I love the voice in the first 250 words and the query is great too! Good luck!ReplyDelete
Thanks Virginia! Good luck to you, too!Delete
Well done, Adrianna. Love your first 250. Fingers crossed for you!ReplyDelete
Nice writing, and awesome premise! Good luck :)ReplyDelete
Your premise had me from the first line! This is dynamite!ReplyDelete
Well, first of all I love The Tarot, as you saw with my submission post. But--wow, this story sounds great! I'm intrigued by your writing and laughed at the ' No one wanted to be told they were poor ‘cause they were a worthless drunk..." Sounds like an amazing tale with much to learn from. Best of Luck! I hope to read this one day.ReplyDelete
Love the plot/premise here a lot. She has her work cut out for her. The opening 250 definitely grab me. Good luck to you! :)ReplyDelete
Wow - there's a lot going on here. What a complicated and interesting set-up. So, yes, the MC does have her work cut out! The opening lines are great. Good luck.ReplyDelete
Great voice! And anything mixed between Gemma Doyle and Scarlet has got to be awesome :) Good luck in the contest!ReplyDelete
I really enjoy some of the insights you have in your 250 and your query was snappy and interesting, great job!ReplyDelete
*grabby hands* Gimme! Gimme! This sounds FANTASTIC! You sucked me in with your query and I just love your first 250. If I had picked this up at the bookstore, I would have marched it straight to the counter, paid for it, and gone home to curl up with it!! Best of luck!!ReplyDelete
This is excellent! I agree with Jennie above... if I had peeked at this in the bookstore, I'd be handing my money to the cashier already. Very good luck to you!ReplyDelete
PS - my fave line: According to tradition, Luca should be next in line to lead the clan, but the cards predicted Besnik and then death for both boys. (concise and the stakes just go up up up!)
I'm intrigued by this, but I would love to read a bit more before making a decision.
Could you please send the first 5 pages to moni.bwATgmailDOTcom? Thanks! ;)
Yes, of course! I will send it right away! Yaayyy *flails with excitement*ReplyDelete
My interest is piqued! (Brenda gave me the green light to ask for pages). Would you send me a pitch letter with a one page synopsis and the 1st 50 pages to email@example.com? Looking forward to it.
Kimberley Cameron & Associates