The Writer’s Voice is a multi-blog contest hosted by Brenda Drake, Cupid, Monica B.W., and Krista Van Dolzer. For all the details about this contest, click here. Check out my entry below.
Query:
Seventeen-year-old Gypsy Taliya Bogdanov shouldn’t be able to summon the spirits with her tarot cards. It’s all supposed to be a show for the gaujos— the outsiders. But when word gets out about a secret reading Taliya did for a friend—a reading that led to a hidden chest of gold— the superstitious clan decides to look into all of her predictions. Even the ones she’s not so proud of. Like the reading she did for Besnik Corsi, her brother Luca’s playboy best friend (who she’s secretly in love with). According to tradition, Luca should be next in line to lead the clan, but the cards predicted Besnik and then death for both boys.
No longer willing to accept Luca outright, the clan demands
a competition for the title. A competition Taliya must judge as the seer of the
fortune.
Desperate to outdo each other, the boys push the boundaries
of their novice Gypsy magic, and Luca accidentally unlocks a door to
Otherworld— a terrible place believed only to exist in Gypsy folklore. A place
where souls are split and trapped forever. Now, choosing between her brother
and the boy she loves is the least of Taliya’s worries. She must find a way to
retrieve Luca’s soul, and protect Besnik’s, before the rest of her foreboding
predictions become reality. Unfortunately, for Taliya, changing the future is a
whole lot harder than predicting it.
Complete at 112,00 words, DIVINATION is a stand-alone novel with series potential. It will appeal to readers of the Gemma Doyle Trilogy and Scarlet by A.C. Gaughen. Thank you for your time and consideration.
First 250:
Riches, love, and death. That’s all they cared to hear about. All anyone wanted from my tarot cards and me. No matter where our caravan traveled, the townspeople came in droves, traipsing through the wilderness to our shoddy camps, desperate to have their fortunes told. Like a swarm of angry bees, they’d buzz in and out our vardos, tossing fistfuls of pennies in our hats, hoping to learn the secrets of life, as they called them.
“Tell me, Madam Taliya, why am I not rich?” they would ask
me. Or: “How can I make her fall in love with me?” Or: “When and where will I
die?”
Riches, love, and death. Always in that order.
Foolish gaujos.
But I wasn’t above making a dime, and I certainly wasn’t
going to tell them the truth— that the cards were just a guideline, a
prediction of events should their course not change. That wasn’t what the customers
wanted to hear. Wasn’t what they were paying for. No one wanted to be told they
were poor ‘cause they were a worthless drunk. Or that they would never find
love ‘cause they had an insufferable personality— one they likely inherited
from their equally insufferable mother. That implied a portion of the bad luck was
their own doing, their own fault, and worse yet still, that they could change
it.
Change. Such a
filthy, rotten word. I learned never to mention it ‘cause change sounded hard. Change
meant work.
Just wanted to stop by and say wow, great writing. Good story that pulled me in. I love stories about gypsies and there aren't enough on the shelves in my opinion. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Dana! Good luck with your entry! :)
DeleteDefinitely great writing! And hey, I wouldn't necessarily want to miss out of a chest of gold either! ;) Love the idea of gypsy magic, and I agree with Dana we need more stories like that. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marieke! Yours sounds great as well. Congrats on making it to the next round!
DeleteThis is really interesting, I love the voice in the first 250 words and the query is great too! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThanks Virginia! Good luck to you, too!
DeleteWell done, Adrianna. Love your first 250. Fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteNice writing, and awesome premise! Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteYour premise had me from the first line! This is dynamite!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Well, first of all I love The Tarot, as you saw with my submission post. But--wow, this story sounds great! I'm intrigued by your writing and laughed at the ' No one wanted to be told they were poor ‘cause they were a worthless drunk..." Sounds like an amazing tale with much to learn from. Best of Luck! I hope to read this one day.
ReplyDeleteLove the plot/premise here a lot. She has her work cut out for her. The opening 250 definitely grab me. Good luck to you! :)
ReplyDeleteWow - there's a lot going on here. What a complicated and interesting set-up. So, yes, the MC does have her work cut out! The opening lines are great. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGreat voice! And anything mixed between Gemma Doyle and Scarlet has got to be awesome :) Good luck in the contest!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy some of the insights you have in your 250 and your query was snappy and interesting, great job!
ReplyDelete*grabby hands* Gimme! Gimme! This sounds FANTASTIC! You sucked me in with your query and I just love your first 250. If I had picked this up at the bookstore, I would have marched it straight to the counter, paid for it, and gone home to curl up with it!! Best of luck!!
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent! I agree with Jennie above... if I had peeked at this in the bookstore, I'd be handing my money to the cashier already. Very good luck to you!
ReplyDeletePS - my fave line: According to tradition, Luca should be next in line to lead the clan, but the cards predicted Besnik and then death for both boys. (concise and the stakes just go up up up!)
Hey Adriana!!
ReplyDeleteI'm intrigued by this, but I would love to read a bit more before making a decision.
Could you please send the first 5 pages to moni.bwATgmailDOTcom? Thanks! ;)
Yes, of course! I will send it right away! Yaayyy *flails with excitement*
ReplyDeleteHey Adrianna,
ReplyDeleteMy interest is piqued! (Brenda gave me the green light to ask for pages). Would you send me a pitch letter with a one page synopsis and the 1st 50 pages to pooja@kimberleycameron.com? Looking forward to it.
Pooja Menon
Kimberley Cameron & Associates